I am too close for him ...... ◎Wislawa Szymborska 太過靠近他 ◎辛波斯卡

I am too close for him to dream about me.
太靠近他夢不到自己。
I'm not flying over him, not fleeing him
不是飛越他，不是逃離
under the roots of trees. I am too close
樹林盤鬚之下的他。我太靠近。
Not with my voice sings the fish in the net
非以我的聲音，魚在罘網歌唱。
Not from my finger rolls the ring.
非自我的手指將指環滾落。
I am too close. A large house is on fire
我太靠近。 龐大的屋舍起了火
Without my calling for help. Too close
沒我的呼叫尋求援救。太靠近
for a bell dangling form my hair to chime.
我的髮絲，搖擺的鐘沒有敲鳴。
Too close for me to enter as guest
太靠近，對我而言，不能如訪客走進
before whom the wall part.
在他的牆分離之前。
Never again will I die so readily,
我不可能再死得如此徹底
so far beyond the flesh, so inadvertently.
遠遠離著肉身，如此粗心大意
as once in his dream. I am too close
就像曾在他夢裡。 我太靠近了
too close ── I hear the hiss
太靠近 ── 我聽見嘶嘶聲響
and see the glittering husk of the wood,
看到木柴閃爍光彩的骨架，
as I lie immobilized in his embrace. He sleep,
當我不動地躺在他的懷抱。 他睡著,
more available at this moment
此刻更容易被
to the ticket lady of a one-lion traveling circus
那個表演獅子跳火圈馬戲的售票女子接近
seen but once in his life
在過去他的人生
than to me lying beside him
我可是躺在他身邊
Now a valley grows for her in him, ochre-leaved
如今他之中的山谷為她擴張，被黃葉披蓋
closed off by snowny mountain
被雪山所隔離
in the azure air. I am too close
在蔚藍的氣層之中。 我太靠近了
to fall out of sky for him. My scream
未能為他從天際落下. 我的尖叫
might only awaken him. Poor me
只會吵醒他。 可憐的我
limited to my own form,
限制了我自己的樣貌，
but I was a birch tree, I was a lizard.
我曾是樺木，曾是蜥蜴
I emerged from satins and sundails
我曾從緞衣和日晷現身
my skins shimmering in different colors. I possessed
肌膚閃亮著各種顏色。 我曾擁有
the grace to disapear from astonished eyes,
從驚訝的眼神消失的優雅,
and that is the rich man's riches. I am too close,
那是就富人的財富。 我太靠近了
too close for him to dream about me.
太靠近他而夢不到自己。
I slip my arm out from under his sleep head.
我從他沈睡的頭顱脫出手臂。
It's numb, full of imaginary pins and needle,
針刺般的麻木感。
And on the head of each, ready to be counted,
在我們彼此兩頭，早就註定，
dance the fallen angles.
墮落天使正跳著舞。




辛此詩用十分平淡的手法描述女子的失眠，而實寫著丈夫外遇女子內心的疏離感與無奈。詩中將酣睡的丈夫，比擬為失火的房舍，寓意為一場沒有女子參與的婚外情，卻同時也指涉女子的痛苦與煎熬。此詩女子如李維史陀將男女化為文明與自然的二元對立，女子曾喪失自然「我曾是樺木，曾是蜥蜴/我曾從緞衣和日晷現身/肌膚閃亮著各種顏色」那種自由，戀愛實則在人類史中殘酷地反轉女性本身的性格與才能，在愛情之中更是喪失主控能力。而此詩讓人最為深刻的絕對是「我從他沈睡的頭顱脫出手臂/針刺般的麻木感。」除了直訴失眠的原因，更直接將男性的重量從女性的身體移走，暗指著女子一連串抱怨後，重獲自己生命的主導權。而這一切的轉折，都只靠辛波斯卡一連串白描、平淡的手法表達出低調卻強烈的情感。